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MY OLD EYES AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE JOHN-DID YOU SEE WHERE MY BALL WENT?AFTER CONCERNS ABOUT HIS BOOZING, GEOFF PROMISED HIS WIFE HE'D STICK TO ONE DRINK PER EVENING
AlthoughTarzan was raised in the wild by apes he was still BritishHappy Father's Day
No mate, just swap shirts!!!Every year, around June, Dad would hold a barbeque for his friends.
I guess this means you don't want to mow the lawn either.For his approach to the 18th, Norman's trouser caddy was suggesting a particularly vivid tangerine check
Mark Edwards
The most AMAZING DAD! 
Happy Father's Day!Dad Dancer 
Let's go 'Daddio'
Tick boxes:
Fandango / Two Step / Shimmy / Twist/ Mambo / Waltz / Night Fever

*INSIDE*
Dad Dancer. noun
This ‘daddio’ is typically found grooving in a state of 
uncoordinated bliss, clearing the dance floors at weddings - much to the embarrassment of partner and siblings.
Dad had started in a small way, buggering up the banisters. Later in life he would go on to burn rainforests and destroy whole continents.Happy Father's Day, Dad I look up to you...
The Case for Alcohol....... "I'm a love machine"  Happy Father's DayDAD SPENT THE EVENING WORKING OUT HOW MUCH MONEY HE HAD SAVED BY DOING THE PLUMBING HIMSELF
Vimrod Father's Day, Dad you always see the big picture "How many times do I have to tell you Ranji, not to jump up and down on your bed?"
NORA SAYS I'M SUPPOSED TO LAY THIS DOWN FOR A WHILE BUT I THINK I'LL DRINK IT THEN I'LL LAY DOWN FOR A WHILE20 PINTS A NIGHT HAD GIVEN DAD A BODY TO BE PROUD OF
HELLO MUM! DAD SAYS DO YOU KNOW ANY GOOD VEGETARIAN RECIPES?While Mum did the dishes, Dad usually dried up.
Jack's: Clubs Straightened, Balls RetrievedFor Dad there was no such thing as too many books
Sporting Hero 
Play a Blinder
Tick Boxes:
Slam Dunk / Full Toss / Rack Up / Strike / Hole in One / Grand slam / Score

*INSIDE*
Sporting Hero. noun
This guy is a professional, despite his obvious lack of skills. Willing to have a crack at any sport in the calendar - although is more often sighted questioning the referee from his arm chair.It seemed perfectly fair to Mum. She would make the sandwiches and Dad would make the beach hut
Happy Father's Day. Dad I want to follow in your footsteps...The Dangers of the Internet

Dad only logged on to check his email.  4 hours later he had bought a C-reg Vauxhall Astra and married a 17 year old Texan
'DAD'S LATEST INVENTION WAS DESIGNED TO DO THE WORK OF TEN MEN'Vimrod Happy Fathers Day
Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose...  You have no idea who I am do you?TROUBLE IS JOHN, IF WE SINK THESE PUTTS - WHO'S GOING TO BEND DOWN TO GET THEM OUT?
DAD I'VE FLOODED THE CARBURETTORBirdie. Baldy
Lately, Dad  just seemed to be living his life in limbo.What's the problem Greg? You knew I was a gun dog when you got me
Dad proved there was no such thing as too much red wineHappy Father's Day...  Dad I want to thank you for all the good advice you give me...
Happy Father's Day ... What Dad will do to avoid fetching the ladder from the shedDAD HAD ALWAYS ENJOYED A SPOT OF DIY
Vimrod Happy Fathers DayHappy Father's Day
SON, I CAN'T AFFORD A NEW ARSENAL KIT EVERY YEAR YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO SUPPORT NEWCASTLE LIKE THE REST OF USDad really enjoyed the odd pint every now and then.
For Dad there was nothing like a spot of fishing...Happy Father's DayHappy Father's Day .... Dad was determined to master Stage 1 completely before moving on to a full sit-up
I GOT THIS ONE FOR WASHING THE CAR AND MOWING THE LAWN IN THE SAME DAY, EXPLAINED DADVimrod Happy Fathers Day
Dad had the feeling that he had forgotten something.  Maybe he'd left his hat  at home.DAD CONSIDERED HIMSELF A D.I.Y MAN DISHY IN Y-FRONTS
A man's fridge is his kingdom...Happy Father's DayHappy Father's Day  You could say what you liked about Dad but he certainly knew how to break the ice at parties.
DAD LIKED TO SPEND HIS WEEKENDS RELAXING ON THE GOLF COURSEVimrod Happy Fathers Day
And the winner of BEST DAD of 2009 is..... Martin Coleman! A wonderful choice! What a guy!Ever the optimist Dad handed the barber his Tom Cruise cutting
MUM THOUGHT SHE COULD DETECT THE TELL TALE SIGNS OF A MID-LIFE CRISISHappy father's day you fantastic old bastard
GREAT MEN OF OUR TIME Barack Obama Steve Davies Happy Father's day Dad!TENSE MOMENTS IN THE COMMUNAL BATH AS ROBERTS.THE SHORT SIGHTED LEFT WINGER, GOES DOWN FOR THE SOAP
FOR MANY YEARS DAD'S SECRET SUNDAY AFTERNOON NAPS WENT UNDETECTEDDads are the best (banks)
DAD SPENT THE EVENING WORKING OUT HOW MUCH MONEY HE HAD SAVED BY DOING THE PLUMBING HIMSELFBehind every great dad is a fart. Happy Father's Day
DAD FOUND THAT BY USING AN INFLATABLE REPLICA HE COULD POP OUT TO THE PUB WITHOUT MUM NOTICINGWho do you think you are, telling me what to do? My dad? uh, ok... sorry
MUM AND DAD MADE A GREAT TEAMif farting were taxed you'd be in serious trouble. Happy Father's Day
FROM TIME TO TIME DAD WOULD TAKE THE MORE ADVENTUROUS ROUTE TO THE NEWSAGENTSMy dad says: life is best lived horizontally. Happy Father's Day
Happy Father's Day   Dad's present came from his favourite gentleman's boutiqueThe answer to the universe is .. BECAUSE. my dad said so
Happy Father's Day   As Usual Fred and Derek spent the evening talking ballsA dad's body is built to mow lawns and to watch football. If there are no lawns to mow, it is fully within his rights to watch football ALL THE TIME. happy father's day
Happy Father's Day   For many years Dad's secret sunday afternoon naps went undetectedHappy Father's Day   Dad spent the evening working out how much money he had saved by doing the plumbing himself
DAD FOUND THAT BY USING AN INFLATABLE REPLICA HE COULD POP OUT TO THE PUB WITHOUT MUM NOTICINGHappy Father's Day  Mum thought she could detect the tell-tale signs of a mid-life crisis

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